Quote of the Day

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”

~ Wayne Dyer, Teacher

How to Spot Opportunity in Crisis

Personal crises (endless in scope) are part of the embroidery that make up the quilt called life. While you are caught up within the jaws of crisis your attention diminishes and you perceive life through dark-coloured lens that speak of only hopelessness and despair.  

A personal crisis usually entails circumstances that may be outside the scope of your usual lifestyle or normal existence.  

The crisis – whatever it maybe – usually hijacks your ability to appreciate the greater whole, sucking you into a paralysis of over-analysing your predicament.  

It entwines you into an endless spiral that makes you over-estimate the scope of the crisis.  It literally leads your into a dark hole filled with scorpions of thought that sting you without any show of mercy. 

But in that moment of crisis-induced blindeness, opportunity awaits like the proverbial light at the end of a dark tunnel. 

First, you have to thoroughly accept that you are in a crisis, because denial only helps the setback to dig its claws into your being, denying you the opportunity to renew and revive. 

Acceptance may seem like a sign of defeat at first sight but in reality surrender – even during wartime – carries with it a sigh of relief and the chance to begin again. 

During that stage, it’s necessary to appreciate the fact that there’s nothing unique about your situation in the greater scheme of things.  

Almost all personal setbacks have been endured by someone, somewhere, in the history of human existence.  

If, for some reason, you blame yourself for the crisis, it is necessary to forgive yourself. Self forgiveness opens new channels that will help you to deal with the situation in a more mature manner.

If you stay bitter with yourself, you only help to make the pain grow, debilitating your chances to spot the opportunity to recover. 

Indeed, a personal crisis can offer you an opportunity to assess your values, allowing you to have a second chance in life. In order to capture the opportunity that resides within a personal crisis, you have to be proactive rather than reactive.

Being reactive will exagerrate the situation in your imagination, and weaken your ability to rise up again. 

The fact that you are alive, in itself, must be the greatest signal that there is still hope, and by being proactive, you will be able to find that special light and spark again. In effect, a personal crisis can help to give you a clear perspective about who you are.

For example, it can reveal your tenacity to survive against the odds. Thinking of a crisis in this manner can make you grow spiritually and mentally, and in the process, make you strong enough to be able to confront future setbacks. You also have to understand the power of time.

While you are in the midst of a crisis, time may seem stalled. But, thats a mere gimmick . It’s an illusion that the crisis creates in your being. The fact is time will move on.

And as the world has known since time immemorial, the passage of time is perhaps the greatest healer of any wound, physical and otherwise. 

So accept that time will change, and in its stride, you will be able to find the beauty of life, once again. In addition, while in the grips of a crisis, you have to look deep down to one of the most fundamental of human qualities – choice.

No matter what will have happened, the choice remains in your hands to either crumble or recover in the face of the crisis.  

Being humble can also be a power tool in your hands. Humility will help you to listen to the advice of people around you, if there are any.

It’s important to stress that humility in no way means submission to the crisis. Rather, being humble in a crisis will help you to commit to the most menial of tasks that can prove the key cornerstones of your recovery.

It allows you to learn new ways that will make you whole again. Humility is also a way towards inner peace, a way of quietening the demons that will be replete in the personal crisis. 

Talking of demons, when you are blinded by a personal crisis, it can help to look outside yourself to a Higher Power.  

The world is full of examples of people that looked to a Higher Power during times of crisis and came out better than before. Looking to a power outside yourself will not cost you anything but it can help you to better understand yourself, opening new insights into becoming a better you.  

Whether you believe it or not, personal crisis can transform you into a better and stronger person that will have a greater appreciation of life, including people undergoing excruciating experiences in their own lives. 

As psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross succinctly puts it:

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep, loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

The Extreme Makeover Guide

Since the beginning of time human beings have always sought various ways to radically transform themselves into something better, happier, wealthier and wiser. 

Nothing has intrigued human beings as much as the desire to transform oneself for the better with millions of motivational books promising a magical solution to personal transformation having been written on the topic, but the process need not be laborious or esoteric as many put it. 

To achieve an extreme makeover, you must have the right mix of desire, decision and determination. You must absolutely want to get out the old, and worn out lifestyle that you find yourself in the present. 

First things first: You must first seek to clearly understand the person that you are today so that you know what you want to change.

To achieve an extreme makeover, you need to be mindful of your current personality, lifestyle, and ambitions. Take time to identify what you think is flawed about yourself, including your physical, spiritual, financial, mental, and social self.

You must possess a clear philosophy of the person that you want to become that acts as a guiding beacon. 

In order to go forward, you must have knowledge of where you coming from. By understanding yourself better you will learn how to better go through the makeover process.

However, it is important not be bogged down in self-analysis, commonly referred to as a paralysis of analysis. 

It is necessary to keep the end goal in mind all the time so that you enhance your chances to improve your lifestyle, make-up and appearance. 

If you wait too long pity-partying about what you dislike of yourself and overplanning what you intend to change, you cripple your chances of success. 

The key component of an extreme makeover is to get started. Get started immediately, but you must have a plan. An extreme makeover may sound like a big challenge at the beginning but its well worth the effort. There are many benefits to personal transformation: it not only enhances your life understanding but adds to your personal power. 

Develop a goal. An extreme makeover is about reinventing your whole being: fashion, lifestyle, makeup and appearance. Put together a list of what you want to become, and then make a plan to work for it. As the old adage goes, fail to plan, plan to fail. 

Create a portrait.There is nothing that beats seeing your future image to kick-start the mind into action towards your pre-determined goals. Using your creative imagination, you must define in detail the kind of values, fashion, lifestyle, makeup and appearance that you want to be associated with. Develop an ideas book in which you showcase your idealized self, and use it to determine the choices that will make you become this person in reality.

Use this process to expand the best of what you want to be. Making a public declaration of what you want to become can put you under unnecessary pressure so keep it to yourself, but make sure the work is done. For example, you can transform yourself to be a fashion stunner by first identifying the look you want in your idea book, and then making carefully thought out purchases.

Accessorize your wardrobe with fashion trends that match your portrait. Buy quality than quantity on key wardrobe elements. And don’t be afraid to seek help in determining what suits you. 

It’s all in the present. No matter how much you want to reinvent yourself you have to accept one fact: life plays out in the present. There’s a belief that transformation is impossible here, right now, but maybe in the future when you have finally achieved everything you desire.

But you must understand that to achieve an extreme makeover, you have to live deeply in the present. Every step you take should be consciously perceived as taking you closer to your makeover. So invest 100 percent of your mind and body into each step so that you can touch the wonders of your reinvented being. 

Breathe deeply. Once you have a full understanding of all your goals, learn how to breathe deeply, opening yourself to the full essence of life. Breathing deeply allows you to practice mindfulness. The practice of mindfulness helps you to be fully engaged with your place in the present moment, relieving you of the guilt of the past, the chattering voices of the present and the unrealized concerns of the future. It is important to understand that the present is your key to your extreme makeover, so once you bring yourself to the present, you avail yourself to all possibilities.

You must make every step towards your ultimate reinvention as pleasurable as it can be. 

Be prepared to step outside the comfort zone. A comfort zone refers to a set of behaviors, a type of mental conditioning that inhibits you from accomplishing what you wish. The boundaries of a comfort zone give you a sense of security and pleasure that fixates you into a rigid state of mind. Identify all the old lifestyle patterns, and make a daily plan to do something positively different. A single step outside your comfort zones sets you on a trajectory towards your reinvented self. 

Watch what you think. If you think you can’t make the extreme makeover that is exactly what you will get. Once you have an idea of the lifestyle changes you want, you must projects thoughts that reflect the makeover you seek. 

However, thinking alone is not enough, it has to be complemented by action. Through the choices that you make, you can shape yourself into the person you want to be. So act as if you have already achieved the extreme makeover. 

Celebrate the journey. Making the extreme makeover is indeed a journey, so make it a point to enjoy every step of the way. Every time you do something that aligns you to the makeover, take time to celebrate. Celebrating your success helps to strengthen your resolve to become the new you. The way you celebrate must be in line with the vision and goals that you have set for yourself. 

Having said that, the bottom-line is that to achieve an extreme makeover requires commitment, planning and action. 

As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 ~ 1832) put it: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.” 

The positive energy and passion that you put into the extreme makeover will determine how far you go in transforming yourself.